Sabin Waking up. Making amends.

Walking Along the Edge of the Event Horizon

Living with mental illness feels like standing at the edge of a black hole, caught between worlds. The pull of chaos and confusion is relentless, making it hard to reach out, to be heard, or to understand. But there’s a secret in the storm: observation. In those rare moments of calm, we find the strength to communicate, to connect, and to hold on.

By Sabin January 22, 2025mental health, movie, process, recoveryNo Comments

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Downtime and Finding Sonic Spaces

Now that my album is out and I’ve had some time to find objectivity on the past year, I’ve slowed down, recharged, and...

By Sabin January 10, 2025gear, music, process, productionNo Comments

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One Month In and One Year Later: A Journey Worth Celebrating

It was just about a year ago when I wrote a reflection on 2023, so I figured I’d do it again this year....

By Sabin January 7, 2025ayahuasca, mental health, music, process, VermontNo Comments

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Embracing Imperfection: The Art of Being and Becoming

For most of my life, I stressed about proving myself and achieving perfection, but everything changed four years ago when I discovered the beauty of dilettantism—engaging in things out of love and curiosity rather than obligation. Experiences like Ayahuasca and mindfulness taught me to embrace imperfection and just be present. Now, I create without the pressure to excel and believe exploration is more valuable than mastery. It's about joy and freedom, not achievement.

By Sabin December 16, 2024awakening, ayahuasca, mental health, mindfulness, music, recovery, writing

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The Release after Release of ‘Where’ve You Been?’

Releasing Where've You Been? feels like setting loose a collection of bottled messages into the ocean—each one containing fragments of my life, some...

By Sabin December 13, 2024album, blog, madness, music, process, recovery

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Where’ve You Been? – Out Now!

It’s been a long road, with a few delays, but I’m finally here: my full-length album Where’ve You Been? is out now. Originally in my...

By Sabin December 6, 2024album, announcement, music, recovery

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Waking up in a quantum state

I felt transparent and ethereal, and so I reached out to the floor for the soft carpet and left my hand print in it. The carpet reminded me I was real and the hand print proved I was solid. I've done a ritual of this kind of thing for most of my life.

By Sabin May 11, 2024album, awakening, blog, looking back

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Hypnosis as a child

Later that year -- the same year I had a spiritual awakening and fell profoundly in love -- it came up that my mother hypnotized me nightly from about 2 years old to the age of 9 or 10 or so.

By Sabin May 9, 2024awakening, ayahuasca, hypnosis, looking back, meditation, recovery

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Integrity and presence

One of the defining characteristics of my personality for the past 30 years has been a decided lack of integrity. Deadlines, promises, schedules,...

By Sabin May 8, 2024awakening, recovery

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Waking up as it were

Thanks for stopping by my journal. This space is important to me because I'm having a difficult time finding a place for myself...

By Sabin May 7, 2024awakening, process, recovery, thoughts